"Hefty Fine" (2005)

Strictly For The Tardcore Lyrics - Bloodhound

[Jimmy Pop:] Eminem's gotta cuss in his raps to sell records, well me too, so fuck Will Smith!

[DJ Q-Ball:] That don't rhyme.

[Jimmy Pop:] Drats.

[both laugh]

Balls Out Lyrics - Bloodhound

Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick

I don't give a shit about celebrity
But motherfuckers did ya happen to see who's here? Me.
The bottom feeder at the top of the food chain
Frontin' from the back of the line on some dude named
After car parts that as fast as a spark hitting gas
Starts a fire gets wired from barbs that
Cut like a jalapeno popper fart
Burning up an asshole that once riped apart
Punched hard but it ain't like I ever cared if I went
Too far as stitches left scars from more clowns bent
Outta shape than the cirque de soleil ever had so
Though he throws his weight around he's still in my shadow
In the dark so he doesn't know his girl remarked that I make her
Laugh on the inside but I can hear it later
With my dick as her other cunt gets screwed
In the process I got to get hot chicks nude

The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches

Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick
Potent is the flow which is wicked sick
So hos of those that pounce bounce slow on the dick

Thanks to you bitches I got more screams
Than David arquette's resume what that means
Is my job involves getting' mobbed like john gotti
Dressed to kill like I'm Gianni versace
But I gotta be so when a gimp limps back for more
In a huff like that fat kid that had sat out for
Every gym class due to his asthma that wore
One correctional shoe but still passed that I swore
I spotted at the smorgasbord sprintin' for seconds
That I reckon ain't as sloppy as the leftovers gettin'
Me clocked by blocked cock pissed my tryst with his missus
Got her panties in a bunch just like his is
That my face between her legs? because that could be
What convinced this dick getting' hard I'm a pussy
But if that were my name I would have autographed her breasts with
Motherfuckin' dollar signs instead of s's

The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches
The payback is cum in fools' circles if it's
Those turnin' on those turnin' on the bitches

Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up
Balls out my life is a slut
This dick don't hit the bottom but I fuck the sides up

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo Lyrics - Bloodhound

Vulcanize the whoopee stick
In the ham wallet

Cattle prod the oyster ditch
With the lap rocket

Batter dip the cranny ax
In the gut locker

Retrofit the pudding hatch
Ooh la la
With the boink swatter

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Marinate the nether rod
In the squish mitten

Power drill the yippee bog
With the dude piston

Pressure wash the quiver bone
In the bitch wrinkle

Cannonball the fiddle cove
Ooh la la
With the pork steeple

If i get you in the loop when I make a point to be straight with you then
In lieu of the innuendo in the end know my intent though
I Brazilian wax poetic so pathetically
I don't wanna beat around the bush

Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo
Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo

Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where
Put the you know what in the you know where pronto

I'm The Least You Could Do Lyrics - Bloodhound

It always sucks refolding the kind of map
Needed when i get stuck where the sun don't shine the fact
Is if i just shut up my rubbered stamp could flag you as dumb

It ain't your mind you're givin' me a piece of
As it don't take einstein to know that's just obscene but
It's been buck rogers' time since i hit other than rock bottom

Even the odds of having you against me
With your crotchless jihad on blue balls evidently
Are all mighty good god so angel dust my soul like james brown

Street leagl whore hauling so much stunning ass
Sell yourself short like bridget at the bunny ranch
Do it all fours the satisfaction of getting fouled

I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you

I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you

I would still get screwed

I don't care if getting under someone that's
Beneath you fits the m.o. of conundrum as
You reckoned this was just a fancy word for rubbers

I aim to get a bang out of working your
Weak spot that sets the bar so low just nerve can score
With no respect since oddly danger feels like pay dirt

I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you

I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you

I'm the least you could do
If only life were as easy as you

If only

When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?


When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

When my fumbling breaks you should
I thank your dad for the damaged goods?

Farting With A Walkman On Lyrics - Bloodhound

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

I know you're gonna play me when you get wind
I heard you're full of shit so I've been duped again
But if you cover your ass with the same old song
You might as well be farting farting with a Walkman on

Give me a fuckin' break

Farting with a Walkman on
Farting with a Walkman on
Farting with a Walkman on
Farting with a Walkman on

Diarrhea Runs In The Family Lyrics - Bloodhound

[On the phone]
I'm in the bathroom right now, so this message might sound like shit.
[Shit's a bunch of times]

Ralph Wiggum Lyrics - Bloodhound

I'm going to Africa yes ma'am I'm a brick was President Lincoln okay? mitten
There's a dog in the vent chicken necks? I pick Ken Griffey Jr. I fell out 2 times
I'm pedaling backwards this snowflake tastes like fish sticks we're a totem pole dying tickles
I heard a Frankenstein lives there she's touching my special area go banana

Ralphie ralphie
Get off get off
The stage the stage
Sweetheart sweetheart

Oh say can you rock?

I'm a pop sensation
I'm a pop sensation

Salmon gutter?

I'm idaho you smell like dead bunnies that's where I saw the leprechaun fun toys are fun
Chocolate microscopes you're not it that is so 1991 I bit my tongue

Ralphie ralphie
Get off get off
The stage the stage
Sweetheart sweetheart

Oh say can you rock?

I'm a pop sensation
I'm a pop sensation

Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj
Yvan eht nioj

My sash says ultraman

Something Diabolical Lyrics - Bloodhound

Eventide rise for ritual
With the thrill of a kill vengefully the engine will
Roar forth steer the dead leave forced
Driven by fear shift gears veer towards
The foolishly equipped swift these
Failed bids breathed taillights from the crypt
Reflect upon the way beyond redemption
Let the necronometer beckon for the destined
Blessed when first lent sin then condemned to bear the burden
Of this curse the consequence of which can never be averted
Each tormented attempt that is made in vain
To evade this debt which is certain to be paid
Without question is met with a counterclocked surge
In reverse as if backmasked words of the black mass were
All heard by a clutch engaged
Over trails blazed to the western gates

Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side

Something diabolical

Idle hands are bound for the
Damned once sam went down to georgia
Speed was forged of the divine salt
Mined from the vaults of flame by the lost
Named as those sought as faults rests beneath
The wrong that was spawned from the tired screech
Of essence halted engulfed in the scent of exhaustion
A false witness with the sensed end is brought
To bended knees when abandoned belief in
The mephistophelian plea for wicked unleashed sends
Heed to reap grim an infernally decreed
Reposession vested in the fallen creed called on to retrieve
Meed with the fueled intention of deprived intervention
The thundered calm that comes from the rattle of descension
Numbs the panicked from a havoc that reeks of oil
Barreling down this mortal coil

Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Heaven may be running on empty yet the devil rides
Hell burns by angel turns her pillow to the cooler side

Something diabolical

Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
Tonight belongs to him
To him
To him
To him

Overheard In A Wawa Parking Lot Lyrics - Bloodhound

The only thing going down in this car is the windo 'cause your pussy stank!

Pennsylvania Lyrics - Bloodhound

We are "cop rock" we are screech
We are z. cavaricci
We are laser removed
Tasmanian devil tattoos

We are third string we are puck
We are special people's club
We are the half shirts with
Irreverent spring break top ten lists

We are munsoned we are squat
We are flashing twelve o'clock
We are spread out butt cheeks
Pulled apart so just the air leaks

We are "ishtar" we are tab
We are no right turn on red
We are the moustaches
The beatles grew when they dropped acid

You are the heart dotting "i"
In the word "apologize"
Scribbled drunk on a postcard
Sent from somewhere volcanoes are
I am the heart with no name
Airbrushed on the license plate
Of a subaru that was
Registered in pennsylvania
We are zima we are barf
We are cinderblock yard art
We are baldwin brothers
Not the good one but the others

We are amway we are shemp
We are sir david of brent
We are the queef after
A porn star breaks the gang bang record

You are the heart dotting "i"
In the word "apologize"
Scribbled drunk on a postcard
Sent from somewhere volcanoes are
I am the heart with no name
Airbrushed on the license plate
Of a subaru that was
Registered in pennsylvania

Do you even know what a wawa is girl?
Do you even know what a wawa is?
Do you even know what a wawa is girl?
Do you even know what a wawa is?

I'm in a state of p fuckin' a

Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Uhn Tiss Lyrics - Bloodhound

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Dog will hunt I'm the front end loader travoltin' over so try my slam on for size
Drive stick with that kung-fu grip let the banana split and watch it go right to your thighs
Cop a feel Copperfield style abracadabra that bra do you think i can pull it off?
Wanna bang around? just jot me down on your to-do list under "put out like a fire" 'cause

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Edible strange how do i get in your pants when you're tick tockin' them
Serious levis? so tight can't be classified that's why I'm here to fill that opening
Make a seasoned pass to mount that ass and bob hope that i might one night stand a chance
Let's go feng shui the fuck around my digs like a superball bring that sunny side up and

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
I got somethin' and it goes thumpin' like this
All you need is my uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby

Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss
Uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss baby uhn tiss uhn tiss uhn tiss

Jackass Lyrics - Bloodhound

Jackass

I'm a pimped out Jedi Knight
Obi-Wan meets Dolemite
Ben Kenobi went and got himself a pompadour
These aren't the whores you're looking for

Jackass

If the Crocodile Hunter smoked weed
Steve Irwin burnin' herb in his jeep
Thinks the kangaroos are laughin' at his haircut
Used a bowl for that too

But if you knew me like I know myself
You'd hate me like I hate myself

'Cause I'm a jackass

Got no rabbit in this hat
'Cause I'm pullin' it out my ass
Ain't Sigfried or Roy but I could be
Makin' magic with the pussy

Jackass

Like that dude in Tienanmen Square
With a six pack and a folding chair
Got bombed at the parade and ended up
Playin' Chicken with the tanks

But if you knew me like I know myself
You'd hate me like I hate myself

'Cause I'm a jackass

They could out the lesbian Spice Girl
They could try to run game on the O.D.B.
They could kick every douche bag off the 'Real World'
But they won't get rid of me

If I knew you like you know yourself
I'd hate you like you hate yourself
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself
Hate yourself, hate yourself, hate yourself

'Cause you're a jackass

No Hard Feelings Lyrics - Bloodhound

Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe you got screwed but i dumped you 'cause you ain't nothin' but trash
I put out despite the fact that you're like a hawaiian punch moustache
Right under my nose thinking i'm so colonel klink oblivious
But how could i not see you got off scot-free 'cause i know this means it

Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore

If i want to be repeatedly shit on i'll go make dutch porn
When roughly translated even your naked truth means squat and what's more
I'm missing you like a hijacked flight on september 11th
I don't know who got on you but i'm not wrong in thanking them since it

Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday
Ain't my job
To fuck you on your birthday anymore

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again
Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck
When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now
I'm just gonna wrap it up

Maybe it ain't your birthday but then again
Ya know i wouldn't give a fuck
When what i shoulda got is over ya sooner so now
I'm just gonna wrap it up

Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday
I'm just gonna wrap it up
Ain't my job
I'm just gonna wrap it up
To fuck you on your birthday anymore
I'm just gonna wrap it up

[Four minute pause]

This is bam, and hidden track shit dicks out!

"Hooray For Boobies" (2000)

I Hope You Die Lyrics - Bloodhound

...You must die I alone am best!
I hope ya flip some guy the bird,
He cuts you off and you're forced to swerve,
In front of the Beatles' tour bus,
A Bookmobile and a Mack truck,
Hauling hazardous biological waste,
The light turns red you have no brakes,
And "Hard Copy" gets it all on tape,
So you can see the look on your face,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope your Pinto begins to spin,
Takes out a disabled Vietnam Veteran,
Mows down a Nobel Peace Prize Winner,
And maybe some orphans having Christmas dinner,
Perhaps even the British Royal Family,
And the Rabbi that's clutching the bottle-fed puppy,
And we can't forget the newlyweds,
And those Jerry's Kids are as good as dead,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
I hope your cellmate thinks he's God,
But C.N.N. refer to him as "Bowling Ball Bag Bob",
Serving time again for abuse of a corpse,
Only this time the victim's a Clydesdale horse,
While he masturbates to photos of livestock,
He does the "Silence of the Lambs" dance to Christian Rock,
Eats feces and quotes from "Deliverance",
And fights with his imaginary playmate Vince,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
...Die Die Die Die Die Die Die!,
I hope he grins like Jack Nicholson,
And forces you to play a game called Balls On Chin,
And whatever happens next is all a blur,
But you remember "fist" can be a verb,
And when you finally regain consciousness,
You're bound and gagged in a wedding dress,
And the prison guard looks the other way,
'Cause he's the guy ya flipped the bird the other day,
I hope this helps to emphasize,
I hope this helps to clarify,
I hope you die,
...I hope you die!.

The Inevitable Return Of The Great White Dope Lyrics - Bloodhound

A is for "Apple",
B is for "Balloons",
C is for "Crayons",
D is for "Drum",
Like my scrotum here it is in a nutshell,
One thousand nine hundred and seventy-two,
That's the year I got here when my dear mother's water blew,
Not really realizing the prize that's been begot to her,
The bona fide lo-fi high-octane philosopher,
Genius with a penis the few the proud the me,
I liked me so much I had to buy the company,
Soul for sale sold to Satan for a hell of a lotta luck,
I'm hard to come by like a straight guy working at Starbucks,
Thank the thinkers that think they thunk the thoughts that theorized,
Idolized or despised bet I'm gettin' recognized,
Mount Rushmore it? No ignore it can't rock with no big head,
Half of the people want me half of the people want me dead,
I am the Angel of Def with my rhymes against humanity,
Teeter-tottering between brilliance and insanity,
The one part the Führer the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope,
Conclusions you drew proportions you blew,
Lost son of Iggy, False Bigger nose than Ziggy, True,
Yes my name is Jimmy Pop no my pop's name is Dick,
Don't admit to kick it slick you thick derelict critic,
Put down for missed notes put up with misquotes,
Don't want the whole story? Should have bought the Cliff Notes,
Like Fingerpainting 101 give me no credit for having class,
One thumb on the pulse of the nation one thumb in your girlfriend's ass,
Written on written off scoff callin' me a joke,
I don't think that I'm a sell-out but I do "Enjoy Coke!",
I struck gold but never took it for granite that's how I planned it so can it,
Around the planet fans demand it and you'll never understand it,
When I die no lie plan on mass pandemonium,
They may display my brain in a pickle jar at the Smithsonian,
The one part the Fuehrer the one part the Pope,
It's the inevitable return baby of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
One part the Fuehrer one part the Pope,
The inevitable return of the Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Great White Dope,
Great White Dope.

Mama's Boy Lyrics - Bloodhound

[Mother]: Hello Frank,
[Jim:] Hello mother dear,
[Mother:] Hi, what are you doin'?,
[Jim:] I'm trying to think of words that rhyme with vagina,
[Mother:] Oh,
[Mother:] lima? Like lima beans,
[Jim:] How about that, that teenage witch, Sabina?,
[Mother:] No, that's a made up-word, Jim, what if you change the word vagina to something else,
[Jim:] Like box or pussy or cunt,
[Mother:] No, Jim...

Three Point One Four Lyrics - Bloodhound

My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be,
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me,
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright,
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright,
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony,
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company,
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky,
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys,
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word,
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd,
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color,
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother,
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy,
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Calvin Klein? Kind of North Carolina,

Women are like dog, doo, hear me through don't interrupt,
It's just the older that they are the easier they get to pick-up,
I'd fill the generation gap clean the cobwebs from her rafters,
Old hens would rather put out than be put out to the pasture,
No age just ain't a gauge I like my girls like my cheese,
Preferably for me fat-free American singles only,
I want my next chick anorexic, the winner is the thinner,
Won't have to take her skinny ass out to a fancy dinner,
Like Sizzler she got a beef we'll chew the fat,
If I forget to put the seat up I can put up with her crap,
Let her lash out and crack the whip but not in bed I don't play rough,
No I can't be tied down with a girl that wants me tied up,
Just independent like NOFX ,smart like Janeane Garafolo,
She'd use big words to make fun of me so that I would never know,
Bestow upon me all her wisdom of the Dewey Decimal System, gee,
You know what I really want in a girl? Me,

I need to find a new vagina,
Any kind of new vagina,
It's hard to rhyme a word like vagina,
Kevin Klein? Kind of South Carolina,
Vagina vagina vagina vagina,
Vagina vagina vagina vagina.

Yummy Down On This Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Ouch it won't reach my mouth
If I could do it myself I'd probably never leave the house
But I can't so here's where you come in
Giving it "Diff'rent Strokes" just like Arnold Drummond
Hummin' hmm hmm good like Campbell's
And you'll handle the sack like the quarterback Randall
Cunningham like Joanie loves Chachi
They call him Ralph Mouth 'cause he's down on Potsie
Rocky chasing the chicken
Watch the plot thicken with the cock when your lickin'
Me like Apollo your Creed my Mission
You go down for the count I countdown ignition
Blast off you're a rocket scientist
A genius what I mean is you suck at this
So escargot 'cause my snail needs Frenchin'
You must be five stars cause my staff's at full attention

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on
Yummy down on yummy down on this down on

Dinner for one I know you got your reservations
Starvation like a Third World Nation
So do it for the children and I'll make a donation
My fly's in your eyes let me rise to the occasion
In my Underoos I tend to be brief
So when you're sinking your teeth deep into my beef
You can fondle but it's kind of like McDonald's realize it's
Just a Happy Meal so you can't Super Size it
Told to hold the pickle then you went and blew it
Gherkin off and the Special Sauce comes included
But you knew it did so concentrate like Tropicana
To eat a Chiquita you need to grow the banana
So can ya Bob like Dylan on my Peter like Criss
'Til it's Chubby like Checker c'mon baby do the twist
It's all in the wrist like table tennis
So beat me like Betty Crocker cake mix

Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this
Yummy down on this down on this down on this

Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it
Suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it suck it

If you were a Hindu I could aim for the dot

Yummy down on this
Yummy down on this

Yummy down on this throbbing pole of hot man chicken.
And feel free to wiggledunk those purple bulldog cheeks.

The Ballad Of Chasey Lain Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to explain
I'm your biggest fan
I just wanted to ask
Could I eat your ass?
Write back as soon as you can

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to complain
Ya never wrote me back
How could I ever eat
Your ass when ya treat
Your biggest fan like that?

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

Dear Chasey Lain
I wrote to constrain
This letter is my last
As your biggest fan
I must demand
You let me eat your ass

You've had a lotta dick
Had a lotta dick
I've had a lotta time
Had a lotta time
You've had a lotta dick Chasey
But you ain't had mine

P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties
P.S.
Mom and Dad this is Chasey
Chasey this is my mom and dad
Now show 'em them titties
Now show 'em them titties

Would ya fuck me for blow?

RSVP Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Ooh, that was creepy,
I would rather slurp rancid tunasalad out of my own ass,
or scour my boobies off with a rusty SOS pad,
or hump a piece of splintered balsa wood.

Magna Cum Nada Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Why try? I'm that guy
Holden Caulfield from "Catcher In The Rye"
Put away 'cause he wasn't all there
Like a jigsaw puzzle you might compare
Me to him not a liver but wurst
Been much better off as a still birth
Big let down unparalleled
Like the last episode of "Seinfeld"
Or Jack Lemmon in "Glengarry Glen Ross"
Pepsi Challenge took it lost
Just fizzed out with my wires crossed
Buttons pushed but never went off
Like Martha I will self-destruct
The name's Dunnstock it's not Dumptruck
Just cursed as fuck with no such luck
My future plans include not much

Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Always gonna be always gonna be always gonna always gonna be
Most likely to suck

Wanna be a Ghostbuster
First black President, owner of "Hustler"
Got shot down like Larry Flynt
Felt like shit like a bowel movement
Have you seen my will to live?
Because I seem to have lost it
Lovelife? No but Mom thinks I'm handsome
Couldn't get off if I held a pimp for ransom
Feel like Jimmy Stewart no one sees my Harvey
Toxic Shock Syndrome gets more girls than me
Like Pee Wee Herman spermin' I can
See the future in the palm of my hand
Psychic Friends, Network loser
Large phone bill in my very near future
Dealt nothing and bluffing hard
Playing poker with a joker and some Uno cards

Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Never gonna be never gonna be never gonna never gonna be
Nothin' more than me
Always gonna be always gonna be always gonna always gonna be
Most likely to suck

Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck
Most likely to suck.

The Bad Touch Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Ha-Ha! Well now, we call this the act of mating
But there are several other very important differences
Between human beings and animals that you should know about

I'd appreciate your input

Sweat baby sweat baby sex is a Texas drought
Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about
So put your hands down my pants and I'll bet you'll feel nuts
Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert and you're getting two thumbs up
You've had enough of two-hand touch you want it rough you're out of bounds
I want you smothered want you covered like my Waffle House hashbrowns
Come quicker than FedEx never reach an apex just like Coca-Cola stock you are inclined
To make me rise an hour early just like Daylight Savings Time

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

Love the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket
Like the lost catacombs of Egypt only God knows where we stuck it
Hieroglyphics? Let me be Pacific I wanna be down in your South Seas
But I got this notion that the motion of your ocean means "Small Craft Advisory"
So if I capsize on your thighs high tide, B-5 you sunk my battleship
Please turn me on I'm Mister Coffee with an automatic drip
So show me yours I'll show you mine "Tool Time" you'll Lovett just like Lyle
And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch "X-Files"

Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Do it again now
You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals
So let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
Gettin' horny now

That Cough Came With A Prize Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Coughing....

Take The Long Way Home Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?

Did you ever read Voltaire's "Candide"?
He says live life at Benny Hill freak out speed
Not a quote of what he wrote but a paraphrase
Make it up as you go Keyser Soze
Highlights yes but don't underline 'em
Just live for N.O.W. like Gloria Steinem
Life is like Marion Barry
It's not all that it's cracked up to be
Like Fred Sanford when the big one comes
Find the meaning of life is there is none
It's twenty-four hours when you call it a day
Be Frank and say "I Did It My Way"
Don't give a flying nun no don't give a Gidget
Just have more fun than a well-oiled midget
If life were picture perfect you could frame it
But the world is a diaper so let someone else change it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride, take the long way home

May I have your attention please?
May I have your attention please?

All born equal unless you're Canadian
Then halfway through decay like Uranium
You define what's death-defying
Get the most out of life or at the least die trying
Are you Evil Knievel jumping a train?
Or running with scissors like Frasier Crane?
Have really good times doing really bad things
'Cause the show ain't over 'til the fat lady sings
Like Elton John with his candle in the wind
It's hard to blow out a flame as big as him
But we've all got to Wang Chung with the Grim Reaper
Whether you're Einstein whether you're Beaker
Death is certain so it's definitely worth flirtin'
Don't expect a bright light no just curtains
Life is like a penis most people don't know it
But most people suck so they usually blow it

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home

Life is an aimless drive that ya take alone
Might as well enjoy the ride take the long way home

That's enough!
I said that's enough!

Hell Yeah Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Alright now boys and girls we've got another story for you now!
We want to introduce to you another friend of the Bible!

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God there would be no explicit sex on T.V.
Like little Opie eating pie when he made it with Aunt Bea

If I were God thou shall not worship false Billy Idols
And thou shall add the Book Of Flavor Flav to the Bible
Thou shall make fun of Hindus thou shall not make a "Speed 2"
If I were God that's what I'd do Heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

If I were God I'd get a bunch of slaves to do everything
Norwegian lesbians that feed me grapes and know how to sing

If I were God thou shall not wear tube socks with Flip-Flops
Thou shall sit and thou shall spin thou shall even wife swap
Thou shall resist the Olsen Twins, thou shall not cut "Footloose"
If I were God that's what I'd do, Heavens no

Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah
Hell yeah

And when they nail my pimpled ass to the cross
I'll tell them I found Jesus that should throw them off
He goes by the name Jesus and steals hubcaps from cars
Oh Jesus can I borrow your crowbar?
To pry these God damn nails out they're beginning to hurt
Crucified and all I got was this lousy T-shirt
"I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" I'll sing as I'm flogged
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God
So vote for me for Savior and you'll go to Heaven
Your lame duck Lord is like Kevin Spacey in "Seven"
With creepy threats of H-E-Double-Hockey-Stick
You just can't teach an old God new tricks
But would I be a good Messiah with my low self-esteem?
If I don't believe in myself would that be blasphemy?
Just sport some crummy "holier than thou" facade
Yeah that's what I would do if I were God

Turn Clyde Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Times New Roman you know the type
Calling me Public Enemy, but don't believe the hype
Tough guy like the one in "Star 80" wanna bait me
Hook line sinker now your lady wanna date me
Gave your girl a little wink so you make a big stink
Shoulder's got a chip so you flip like a Tiddlywink
Know what I think? I think you might be Darwin's missing link
Get all bent out of shape when the heat is on just like a Shrinky Dink
Bet I can take a hint better than I can take a hit
Completely incompatible though I'm a pussy and you're a dick
How can you hold a grudge when you can't even hold a job?
Should have known butter but you're not corn on the cob
I choose to use a song for a weapon not a sword struck a chord
If I wanted to see stars I'll watch the "Academy Awards"
That's why I ran like a Flock Of Seagulls why make-up like Mary Kay?
You must've given up on hair plugs 'cause now you're going toupee

All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Mama said talk this out and resolve
Don't wanna be involved so gimme a call when you evolve
Doggy paddle to the shallow end of the gene pool
Half with it half wit half finished high school
Give you a piece of my mind but I know you want it splattered
Heard you like your women like you like your shrimp you like 'em battered
Wife beater perfectly fitting apparel
Where's your brother Daryl? Where's your other brother Daryl?
Givin' me that Macho Man Randy Savage stare
Wanna snap into a Slim Jim break my limbs but do I care?
No sorry I'm a lover not a fighter commit your crime
I'll be glad to do your girlfriend, I'll be glad that you do time
Here's the deal I cop a feel you cop a plea but get the maximum
Now we both got records but the difference is mine's platinum
Definitely showed this yellow bellied wimp limp in your cell now though alone
When you're choking your chicken your chick will be choking on this chicken's bone

All in all you're just another dick with no balls
All in all you're just another dick with no balls

Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde
Right turn Clyde.

This Is Stupid Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

How do you let someone know
If your hot cakes are selling well?

A Lap Dance Is So Much Better When the Stripper is Crying Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

The Ten Coolest Things About New Jersey Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Here are the 10 coolest things about New Jersey
Hit it boys, get away from me, can't you see
I'm just losing you, aren't you just on your own?

The new things
10, shit, 9, fuck, 8, cunt and 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, bitches
Almost the end of the song
Go, go, go, go crash bitches hell you made us stop

The song let's start again up, down the Jersey continues
Still alone, off the bar, locked in a cage alone in the 10 10
(10 10)
Coolest things about New Jersey that's all goodbye

Along Comes Mary Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Every time I think that
I'm the only one who's lonely
Someone calls on me
And every now and then
I spend my time at rhyme and verse
And curse those faults in me

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to give me kicks and be my steady chick
And give me pick of memories
Or maybe rather gather tales from all the fails and tribulations
No one ever sees
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

When vague desire is the fire
In the eyes of chicks whose sickness
Is the games they play
And when the masquerade is played
The neighbor folks make jokes
At who is most to blame today

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to set them free and
Let them see reality
From where she got her name
And will they struggle much
when told that such a tender touch of hers
Will make them not the same
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

And when the morning of the warning's passed
The gassed and flaccid kids
Are flung across the stars
The psychodramas and the traumas gone
The songs have all been sung
And hung upon the scars

And then along comes Mary
And does she want to see the stains,
The dead remains of all the pain
She left the night before
Or will their waking eyes reflect the lies
And make them realize
Their urgent cry for sight no more
When we met I was sure out to lunch
Now my empty cup tastes as sweet as the punch

Sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch
Sweet as the punch

"One Fierce Beer Coaster" (1996)

Kiss Me Where It Smells Funny Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

You came twice last year like a Sears catalog,
Cause your last boyfriend makes love like Boss Hogg,
Well now you're seeing me but soon I'll have you seeing God,
Cause girl I'll get you panting like you're Pavlov's dog,
Like a DC-10: guaranteed to go down,
But baby your black box is the one that I found,
I'll give you the gift that keeps on givin' it won't cost you any money,
Then she grabbed me by the ears and said kiss me where it smells funny.

So down I go like I'm 2000 Flushes,
I can tell I'm doing something right by the way that she blushes,
She's one that's speechless, I'm the one that's tongue tied,
She's thinking holy mackerel I'm thinking tuna on the side,
There must be something wrong with Al Pacino's nose,
Cause the scent of a woman is like rotten tomatoes,
Yeah I'm snorkeling for clams and it doesn't matter if I wanna be,
Don't come up for air until you kiss me where it smells funny.

Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty,
Drop my face below her waist and stay on third base,
I can tell that the cherry's ripe by the way it tastes,
Yeah I could make a lot of wine with the yeast I find inside her panties,
And then drink it while eating out down at the Seafood Shanty.

Lift Your Head Up High (And Blow Your Brains Out) Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Lift your head up high and blow your brains out!

Do you still go to raves?,
Do you think that Christ saves?,
Do you spend your days in a Purple Haze?,
Do you contemplate what a grape nut is?,
Or could you live drinkin' your own whiz?,
Are you hooked on a feeling are you hooked on gin-n-tonics?,
Are you hooked on fistin are you hooked on phonics?,
Did you ever have sex with a box of Kleenex?,
Did you like the movie Malcolm X?,
Or do you own a record by Stryper?,
Do you have a mongoloid cousin wearin' diapers?,
Were you born and raised in New Jersey?,
Did you like the taste of Crystal Pepsi?,
Are you deaf?,
Well if you are you can't hear me,
But what's the use of living if your ear's be?,
Broken even if I spoke clearly,
You're still not able to hear me,
Cause life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.

Does your girlfriend look like the chick from M*A*S*H?,
Dead ringer for Klinger with a thicker mustache?,
When you're at a get-together does everybody always ask?,
Ain't no Halloween party why's she wearin' that mask?,
Does she got more Chins than the Chinese phone book?,
Would you rather make out with a rusty fish hook?,
Does she stick to linoleum when she squats?,
Does she look pregnant although she's not?,
Did you first see your boyfriend on Cops?,
Or at a Star Trek convention or on top?,
Of your best friend or maybe at Wendy's?,
Workin' third shift late New Years' Eve?,
Does he live under a bridge scare kids and kill squirrels?,
Does he do kegstands until he hurls?,
Could a blind man mistake his complexion for Braille,
Does he have time to sit around and wait for the mail,
Life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.

So take your life instead of taking it for granted,
I'm thinking you should can it I think I'll help you plan it,
Live today like it's gonna be your last,
Hang out blow your mind have yourself a gas,
I hope you take this the wrong way,
And misinterpret what I say,
Rewind and let me reverse,
Backwards like Judas Preist first did.

Cause life is a game that no one wins,
But you deserve a headstart the way your life's goin',
So throw in the towel cause your life ain't shit,
No take that towel and hang yourself with it,
Life's short and hard like a body-building elf,
So save the planet and kill yourself,
If you're feeling down-and-out with what your life's all about,
Lift your head up and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out,
Lift your head up high and blow your brains out.

Fire Water Burn Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.

Hello my name is Jimmy Pop and I'm a dumb white guy,
I'm not old or new but middle school fifth grade like junior high,
I don't know mofo if y'all peeps be buggin' give props to my ho cause she all fly,
But I can take the heat cause I'm the other white meat known as 'Kid Funky Fried',
Yeah I'm hung like planet Pluto hard to see with the naked eye,
But if I crashed into Uranus I would stick it where the sun don't shine,
Cause I'm kind of like Han Solo always stroking my own wookie,
I'm the root of all that's evil yeah but you can call me cookie,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.

Yo yo this hard-core ghetto gangster image takes a lot of practice,
I'm not black like Barry White no I am white like Frank Black is,
So if man is five and the devil is six than that must make me seven,
This honkey's gone to heaven,
But if I go to hell then I hope I burn well,
I'll spend my days with J.F.K., Marvin Gaye, Martha Raye, and Lawrence Welk,
And Kurt Cobain, Kojak, Mark Twain and Jimi Hendrix's poltergeist,
And Webster yeah Emmanuel Lewis cause he's the anti-christ,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire,
We don't need no water let the motherfucker burn,
Burn motherfucker burn.

Everybody here we go,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Throw your hands in the air,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Wave 'em like you don't care,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Everbody say ho,
Ohh Ohh,
C'mon party people,
Ohh Ohh,
Everybody here we go.

Yellow Fever Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Are those num-chucks in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
Let me take you back to the day that I met my China girl
When I landed a 'Pam' like on the San Fran Real World
I was sweating like a vegetable inside of a wok
I'd never been to Asia Minor but I was gonna Bangkok
Like Kristy Yamaguchi I had to break the ice
Should I talk about Mothra M*A*S*H or shrimp-fried rice?
I was sharp as a Chinese star but it's a line I threw
Just thirty seconds over Tokyo and this Johnny would Woo
I took a shot like Jeanette Lee put on my moves like Bruce Lee
I told he every Soon Yi needs a little Woody
She said for all the tea in China my vagina's not free
But my love will linger longer than the Ming Dynasty
I said I needed her to do and her to do my laundry
I knew she needed a way to stay legally within the country
She was made in Taiwan I said I'm O.K. with that
Just promise me you'll never try to eat my cat
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
In Japan the hand is used as a knife
In Japan a man's wife's hand job than can cost him his life
But now this Captain Kirk has his own Sulu
I'll shampoo her Foo Man Chu with Lo Hung Wang Goo
Cause I ride my slant-eyed slope like a brand new Kawasaki
Oh me chinky she's so kinky got me hot like Nagasaki
Burnin' up like Napalm burstin' like an A-bomb
I think I got that jungle fever but I caught it in 'Nam
She's like an oriental rug cause I lay her where I please
Then I blindfold her with dental floss and get down on her knees
I'm a diving Kamikaze eating out Chinese
First I'll have the poo-poo platter than some tuna sushi
She'll be screaming like Godzilla and kickin' like Jackie Chan
I'll get her redder than China wetter than the Sea of Japan
Like the Chinese New Year she's gonna see fireworks
Now be a good chinky and press Jimmy's shirts
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Sing chinky sing
One more time
Chinky chinky bang bang I love you
Chinky chinky bang bang I know you love me too
Chinky chinky bang bang chinky bang
Chinky chinky bang biddily biddily biddily bang

I Wish I Was Queer So I Could Get Chicks Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

If your ass is a Chinese restaurant I'll have the poo-poo platter
My friend Jerry Vandergrift kissed me in Home Ec. class
Later in the afternoon some jarheads in the locker room kicked my ass
I said guys I'm like you I like Monster Trucks too
Wanna see how many push-ups I can do?
I just wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
But if I were handsome just imagine how great it would be
Incognito as gay though but not actually that way though pseudo homo phony
Maybe it's a stupid theory or maybe just stupidity
But if I was a queerbee in the fashion industry
Scoring with a super model would be easy
Cause 'super model' means voluptuous but is also is synonomous with 'super dumb'
Ya see I'd be a good listener so she'd treat me like a sister and soon I'd become
That trusted friend that cares that rubs her back and braids her hair
No it wouldn't be a week before I'm in her underwear
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
Doesn't matter what I'm packin' in my denim it's what's in my genes
The only smoked meat the only sausage I would eat is made by Jimmy Dean
See I'm not to keen on the smell of Vaseline
No I'm not Princess Di and I don't wanna be a queen
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks

Anyway if I were gay I'd have to change my name to Dirk or Lewis
Hang out with my mom's hair stylist his name is Kip he's got a lisp he talks like this
And wear my mother's lingerie learn the songs of Broadway
And appreciate Depeche Mode and avant garde ballet
I wish I was queer so I could get chicks
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks dig guys that are
Queer guys that don't dig
Chicks that don't dig guys like me
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly
And I don't shave my heiny
Don't shave my heiny
See I'm not queer I'm too ugly

Why's Everybody Always Pickin' On Me

Why is everbody always pickin' on me?

The morn' that I was born my old man beat up the doctor
He clocked the doctor cause the doctor said I looked like Chewbacca
The doctor said sir you're misled sir which infers you mistook me
I did not mean your lovely wife was shackin' up with a wookie
What I mean is Wolverine is less hairy than your son
He's looks like Chewie Baba Booey Baba Booey and Hong Kong Phooey all in one
To put it mild your new-born child's completely nutty fu-fu lookin'
I'd shove him back into the oven until he is done cookin'
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
Why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Always pickin' and rippin' apart poor ol' Jimmy Pop Ali
I got a schnoz like the 'Cos' but there's a lot more wrong with you
So back me up Bill yea and you're ugly too
So what if I brush my teeth with a piece of cheddar cheese
Or where a fish net shirt by Chams with my Sergio Valenti jeans
And my mirror never lies but it always verifies
I got more cheese and pepperoni than a homemade pizza pie
You compare me to a Monchichi but I don't understand
Why I'm scorned like I'm deformed like the Elephant Man
And yea I took my mom to the prom but hey she asked me first
But at least this time I didn't find my date in the back of a hearse
About as popular with the girls with Englebert Humperdink
And that might be 'cause everybody calls me Shrinky Dink
I know I'm known as Polaroid I'm not a total retard
It's cause I'm done in sixty seconds and you'll still want it enlarged
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
You took your mom to the prom but still got lucky
Like that episode where Gilligan gets sick of being teased
And he breaks into the Professor's lab and makes some LSD
Peaks freaks and eats the Skipper's brains then beats Ginger with coconuts
As Mr. Howell and Lovey burn alive inside their grass hut
Oh he'll kill again that Gilligan they he should of let him be
And like a postal clerk I'll go beserk if you don't stop teasing me
See the trick is only pick on those that can't do you no harm
Like the drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
The drummer from Def Leppard's only got one arm
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause my fifteen year-old cousin has less acne
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Ain't brushed them teeth since 1983
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you got the grooming habits of a chimpanzee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you're white but you got a nose like Bill Cosby
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause ya wore velour flares until the late Eighties
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause you run like a girl and sit down to pee
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause your only school chum was the lunch lady
But why's everbody always pickin' on me?
Cause no one likes you monkey boy.

It's Tricky Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

This beat is my recital
I think it's very vital
To rock a rhyme
That's right on time
It's tricky tricky yo here we go

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

I met this little girlie, her hair was kind of curly
Went to her house to bust her out, I had to leave real early
These girls are really sleazy, all they just say is please me
Or spend some time and rock a rhyme, I said it's not that easy

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

In New York the people talk and try to make us rhyme
They really hawk, but we just walk, because we have no time
And in the city it's a pity, 'cause we just can't hide
Tinted windows don't mean nothing, they know who's inside

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

When I wake up people take up mostly all of my time
I'm not singing, phone keep ringing so I make up a rhyme
I'm not bragging, people nagging, 'cause they think I'm a star
Always tearing what I'm wearing, I think they're going too far
A girl named Tara follows Jared every gig we play
Evil dissed her and dismissed her, now she's jocking Spanky
I ain't lying, girls be crying, 'cause we're on TV
They even bother my poor father, 'cause he's down with me

It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky
It's tricky to rock a rhyme
To rock a rhyme that's right on time
It's tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky tricky

We are not dumb, we don't use drugs, but you assume on your own
They offer coke and lots of dope, but we just leave it alone
It's like that y'all, but we don't quit
You keep on, rock shot, 'cause this is it.

Asleep At The Wheel Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Bloodhounds shall cruise rendezvous
Break curfew new trip ensues
You never know Bloodhounds just go
Pack backpack up for down the road
No change of clothes but change for tolls
Pack of No-Doz Rolos and Skoal
Old Milwaukee Jolt black coffee
Sugar Daddy Rand McNally
A pack of jacks those orange Tic-Tacs
Glen Miller tracks roll of Kodak
The phantom black stacked Pontiac
Hot rod dual quads and in the back
Is the beat keeper big ass speaker
Jumbo woofer rattle tweeter
Dial is turned and there it's stayin'
The next day where Stern is playin'
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel

I-95 eight lanes wide
Midnight drive take a ride
Alongside east coast tide
Getting high so am I
Bloodshot red eyes from the fumes
I consume engine zoom then engine boom
Then enging glow erupt and blow
And overflow like volcano
So far to go can't turn back though
Cheap tobacco cup of black Joe
Fuelin' my body jumstartin' my soul
Set my mind on cruise control
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel

24-7 Truck Stop Plaza
Turn off headlights turn on hazards
3 A.M. is when I gazed
Eyes glazed I'm dazed and then I fade
To black now were back
'On The Road' like Kerouac
Down the turnpike high rate of speed
Up all night like Gilbert Gottfried
You got your Jesus on the dashbord but the devil's under my hood
You're taking it down legal I'm pullin' it up to no good
God is your co-pilot I let Satan ride shotgun
You pay a toll to get to heaven but on the road to hell there's none
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel
Get up you're asleep at the wheel.

Shut Up Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

I'm Jimmy Pop here in a jiffy heat me up and add oil
I'm like a zit a wart a corn a cyst a festering boil
I get under your skin and I sebaceously form
I'm as deep as the plot to an amateur gay porn
Keep ya hungry for more like Bangladesh
Then I'll borg di borg do borg ya like the Swedish Chef
Cause I'm one of a kind and kind of hard to find
Kind of like an Injun without his fire water wine
I'm like Schneider one day at a time
I'm feeling like Bob Vila nailing up your behind
To my wall like Daniel-son does
I'm waxing on I'm waxing off I'm waxing just because
I get wired like a Western Union and I got to be me
And I got more balls than the daily lottery
Like hemorrhoidal itch yo you can't ignore me
Cause I'm more tongue and cheek than a lesbo orgy
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me

Second verse is different than the first

I'm Jimmy Pop I am
Jimmity Jimmity Pop I am I am
See my name's not Hoover and I don't give a damn
And I got a different angle like a parellelogram
And you'll be all ears like a field of corn
I'll make you Dizzy like Gillespie as I toot my own horn
Like a No. 2 pencil I always got a point
You'll want to share it with friends like a poorly rolled joint
I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm Jimmy Pop y'all I'm an Alka Seltzer that's right you're a seagull
As I continue to expand your head is gonna burst
Leave a bad taste in your mouth like moldy Liverwurst
Like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre I'll get in your face
But then I'll brush you off like Aqua-Fresh toothpaste
Cause I'm letting off steam like a Chinese Laundromat
But I'm not a roll of Charmin so don't give me no crap
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me

I hate a lot of whites and I hate a lot of blacks
I hate poopin' in public places but we all hate that
I hate lesbian feminists because they're all so damn ugly
I hate Spin Magazine cause they never ever plug me
I hate Regis and I hate Kathie Lee
I hate every single movie by that midget Spike Lee
I hate people that think I care what they think
I hate people that think their ass don't stink
I hate Jon Bon Jovi but I hate his music more
I hate killing people because I hate to keep score
I hate you but you hate yourself too
I hate to be honest but I'd hate to be you
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me
And I don't give a damn if you don't like me
Cause' I don't like you cause you're not like me.

Your Only Friends Are Make Believe Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Yea well I sing like an amputee though
Why?
Cause can't hold a note can't cary a tune

Knock knock Mr. Rogers it's Mr. McFeelie
I've brought you a letter speedy delivery
Well Mr. McFeelie if there's postage due
You can go fuck yourself like Captain Kangaroo
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

Mr. Rogers I like your cardigan sweater
Mr. McFeelie shut up and give me my letter
I don't want to talk to you don't you understand?
Why are you inside my house you're just my fuckin' mailman?
I can go to land of make believe and I can pretend
But in the end I still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends
You can go to land of make believe and you can pretend
But in the end you still have no friends

Do do do do do do do do do
Do do do do do do do do do

You are my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran
Your best friend is you I'm my best friend too
I share the same views and hardly ever argue
Eat Spam from the can watch late night C-Span
And rock out to old school Duran Duran.

Boom Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Stop as we drop this bomb
Blow up this place like another Vietnam
Heavy like a Tyson blow to the dome
Back up son give me room give me room
To set it off like this don't give it up
I'm all up in you till you just can't get enough
Real hard to the bone you want more
I sneak up on you like a sniper at your back door
Phat flavor for your brain you know the time
So check the wrath it's for real I'm gonna get mine
Roll up on you like Eastwood
Blowing up fifteens as I'm riding through your neighborhood
I spreads butter like Parkay
Real smooth with flow and even when I parlay
Do what you feel and check the skill
I'm in your grill peep this I got the raw deal
I'm in your Jeep Grand Cherokee or Land Cruiser
When you're rolling through the hood you want to use a
Track like this all up in your eardrum
So check the E.Q. and let them speakers hum
And gets crazy like Prozac
Hype enough to start a party and illy as a heart attack
Round one round two knockout
Straight to your head my round never lights out
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a

Jimmy Jimmy y'all Jimmy damn Jimmy yea
Gimme the mic Rob so I can take it away
Got more lines than the welfare office
Are you upset you'll never get to be as clever as this?
Spreadin' quicker than your mom have a feel but don't cop it
Yea I stole your beat but that's cause you dropped it
Crude as oil unrefined but slick
I'm gonna get you from behind like a gay convict
Cause my name ain't Quasimodo but I still got a hunch
That like the Jim Jones cult I'll take you out with one punch
You're Spiro Agnew and I'm the Dick you answer to
You're sweating like a watermelon at a Baptist bar-b-cue
Sneaking up like celery yeah I'm stalking
I squeak like Stephen Hawkings yeah but I'm walkin'
Nose to ground so this Bloodhound will sniff and follow it
I hope you choke on your pride when I make you swallow it
Screaming like a Mimi when you see me coming near you
Like a Kenny Loggins' record no one's ever gonna to hear you
Like a game of hide and seek it's all over if I see ya
Cause your yellower than tinkle and you'll be running like diarrhea
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee
Tah rah tah rah tah rah boom dee a.

Going Nowhere Slow Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Got the mike in my hand but can I make you understand
That a-hole bands have a-hole fans
Bloodhound's the name and the Gang's to blame
Like Chan n' Chin the Siamese twins it's one in the same
So fame ain't gonna live forever
Never worrying about dying cause it can't be any better
But whatever happens to happen always happens for the worst
And if the worst is yet to happen I hope it happens to you first
So hello Joe what do you know?
Heard ya just got back from a Bloodhound show
Did you do the Batussi or did you do the Hustle?
Did you do the Flamin' Waffle or the Super Bowl Shuffle?
No matter what you did you're gonna be amused
If you were not entertained you did not drink enough booze
If ya get your eyes a'fuzzin' then we'll get your ears a'buzzin'
Cause we play around the world you play around with your cousin
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow

We rock Philadelphia Baltimore Las Vegas Indianapolis
Louisville Atlanta New Orleans and Minneapolis
Houston Tucson Phoenix Buffalo
Tulsa Mobile Albuquerque Wichita and Orlando
Portland Salt Lake City Memphis Washington D.C.
Charlotte Oklahoma City Little Rock and Milwuakee
Cleveland Tampa Norfolk Dallas Raleigh Hartford Cincinnati
Boston Nashville Kansas City Chattanooga and Miami
Honolulu Richmond Austin Pittsburgh San Antonio
Baton Rouge and Anchorage and Birmingham and Toledo
Denver Detroit Dayton Spokane Fresno
And Jacksonville Colombus Springfield New York Sacramento
Los Angeles St. Paul St. Louis San Francisco
Madison Knoxville Seattle San Jose and San Diego
Jackson Omaha Des Moines Boise Providence Chicago
But no where in New Jersey that's the only place we won't go
Bloodhound boys
Bloodhound girls
Bloodhound noise
Bloodhound world
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow
Rock on rock on do it dusk til' dawn
Anywhere we go everywhere we've gone
Don't matter what state, what town, what show
Hell-bound Bloodhound going nowhere slow.

Reflections of Remoh Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

{The Bloodhound Gang record's called 'One Fierce Beer Coaster'
And on the front of the record there's a picture of a beer coaster
So the record looks like a beer coaster
Ho hoo hoo hoo}

{That's some funny fuckin' shit mother fucker
That shit's wack, that shit's funny
That shit's funny and wack
Oh my God! Hoo hoo hoo}

"Use Your Fingers" (1995)

Rip Taylor is God Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Hey! Da dee dada dee da da
This is Rip Taylor
Hey there sprinkle genies!
Haha!
Did you know that midgets make up a small percentage of the population?
Hah!
Not half, up to here, HAHA HEY!
Woo
But seriously, don't you think it's time we had a female president?
With big gazooms? Tatee tattoo tees?
Tatta ta too tatas?
Baba bing bangs?
Big jugs, get it?
Hello Dolly
Is this microphone on? Hello? Anybody out there can they hear me?
Somebody call my agent, my hair is lifting!
Please, what am I doing here?
You're probably saying to yourself
"Why the HELL would a comedic virtuoso like, Rip Taylor,
want anything to do with those half-witted white trash crotch
goblins The Bloodhound Gang?"
Oh! Well listen folks, the answer is very simple..
Haha... American cashito, dollareenies, no cheques!
They paid me you hiney hopper why else?
Oh I'm getting moist!
I mean come on, let's face it kids, pardon me... but they are
a bunch of knuckleheads!

We Are the Knuckleheads Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Who's The Knuckleheads?
We Are The Knuckleheads? [X4]
If You Would Be The Peanut Butter Then I Would Play The Jelly
I'll Peel Apart Your Bread And Then I'll Penetrate Your Belly
Your Blood Stains Mighty Bad I Wash It Off With Coast
Now I'll Take My Jelly And Spread It On Your Toast
No One Rhymes Faster The Mic Is My Blaster
So Grasp Some Shasta The Mighty Mic Master
Giving Ya Communion With Your Lips On My Cup
Pump Pump Pump Pump Me Up
Now If You're The Waterboy Then I'm The Heavyweight Contender
I'm Gonna Mix You All Up Like A Black And Decker Blender
If You Would Be The Telstar Then I'd Have To Be Defender
I'll Be Out In Just Four Weeks I Was A First Offender
Your A Dumb Ass Stupid Vera And I'm The One That Flo Calls Mel
Puttin' Holes Right Through Your Body Like Harvey Keitel
You're A Broken Down Big Wheel I'm A Banana-Seated Schwinn
Take The Butt Of Your Gun And Smash Their Nose In Clip of Harvey Keitel from Reservoir Dogs
I'm A Lego-Eggo Maniac I'm Stickier Than Some Fun Tack
Trip To The Store And Get Another Six Pack
Bomb Dropping Like At Ground Zero
Like Colonel Klink Is Getting Fucked By Hogan's Heroes
Eenie Meanie Miney Mo You Took Your Shot You Missed
I Wasn't A Good Boy This Year I'm Not On Santa's List
I Gave Your Girl Some Sausage And Than I Slit Your Wrists
Now I'm Taking Your Ass Out Like My Name Was Burgeous Meredith
Who's The Knuckleheads?
We Are The Knuckleheads [X4]
Fast Fast Quick Bic Like Ass When Ya Pass Gas
You Threw It Like A Girl That's Why You Got Picked Last
And Mr. Easy Does It Never Did It Now Did He
Jesus Is Coming So Look Busy
And You And Your Chumps Are Gonna Get Your Lumps
I Got The Goose That Laid The Golden Egg You Got Goose Bumps
Cause I'm Black Y'all, It's A Fact Y'all
And If You Try To Take What's Mine I'll Take It Back Y'all
I Wish All Skinheads Smelled Like Mr. Clean
And That Girl From Jersey Really Was Nineteen
Cause The Whole Damn World Would Be Peachy Keen
With Rip Taylor On The Cover Of Every Magazine So Go
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Rip Rip Taylor
Rip Taylor Rip Taylor
Your Girlfriend
We Nailed Her
My Mom's Got Opposable Thumbs
Your Mom's Weezie Jefferson
I'd Rather Eat Fresh Heiny Chow
And I Ain't Crazy About No God Damn Butthole No How
Batter Roll And Whip Ya Like A Fucken' Kanoli
If Satan Had A Hockey Team Theni'd Be The Goalie
Cause We're Dumber Than Driftwood Dumber Than Your Mama
Dumber Than A Supermodel Dumber Than Kwanza
Who's The Knuckleheads?
We Are The Knuckleheads? [X4]

Legend In My Spare Time Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Ashes To Ashes And Funks To Funky
Daddy Long Legs Is A Mean Ass Honky
And Jimmy Pop Ain't No Heiny Hobbit Gaybe
Ain't No Big Meaty Chunks In My Thick Brown Gravy
Cause I'm The Loch Ness The Loch Ness The Loch Ness Monster
Jerry's Kids Are Knockin' At My Door, "Could You Be A Sponsor?"
Tiny Bubbles In My Tub Pull My Finger Lawrence Welk
If You Wanna Look Like Rocky Dennis Better Drink Your Milk
When I'm Feeling Oriental I Gotta Rub My Chin
Gonna Hold My Water In Like I'm Gunga Din
So Have A Taste Of My Bass Cause The Girlies Got Smiles
You Get On My Case Like The Rockford Files
Crazy Eddie In The Slammer Cause He's Giving It All Away
John Boy In The Barn With A Horse In The Hay
No Rhyme No Reason No Job No Class
And We Don't Go Near The Ghetto Cause They'd Shoot Our Ass
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
I'm A Legend In My Spare Time
If You Ain't Ever Been To The Suburbs
Don't Ever Come To The Suburbs
Cause You Wouldn't Understand The Suburbs
Cause I'm A Huskin' A Huskin' A Huskin' Your Corn
I'm As Deep As The Plot To A Gay Porn
So Uh-Oh Spaghettios I Forgot To Hide Away The Body
I Know That She's A Hotty But Damn That Girl Could Party
So Come To Me Momma It Ain't No Crime
I'm The Skilled Love Doctor Growlin', "What's Your Sign?"
I Did The Flamin' Waffle With Ho Chi Min
Your Girl's A Dollar Bill We Don't Know Where She's Been
J.F.K.'S Head Is A Puzzle And Your Woman Needs A Muzzle
Barbara Eden In The Bottle And Now I'm Gonna Guzzle
You're Too What? Shy Shy Huh What?
Hush Hush Yea? I Knew Why
Cause We're Playing The Palladium You Can't Get On Star Search
Daddy Legs Standing Tall He Can Do The Funky Lurch
And Jimmy Jimmy Pop Is Short For Jimmy Jimmy Popular
You Know I Know You Know Your Not The Tough Guy That You Thought You Were
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
I'm A Legend In My Spare Time
Cause I Wopbobaloobop
Ha Cha Cha Chatch
Come Lick My Balls
Vive La My Crotch
Cause Your Daddy Thinks I'm Lazy Your Momma Thinks I'm Crazy
But Neither Of Them Know That You Are Carrying My Baby
And I'm The Amos I'm The Andy I'm The Sticky Aunt Jemammy
I Gave You Mouth To Mouth Like Resuscitation Annie
It Takes Two Of Us To Do This Like Dean Martin Jerry Lewis
And Your Throat Is Swollen Gloryholen' Ya Blew Us
George Burns' Pacemaker Beats Steady Slow And Low
That's Why We Got More Hits Then A Dealer At A Dead Show
Go Go Yeah Yeah Huh What?
I'm A Legend In My Spare Time

.H.G.P.S.A. Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

The following Public Service Announcement is
brought you by an intoxicated homeless man.

Try throwin' your socks in the trash,
before they got the holes in the feet

Sponsored by Bloodhound Gang Hate Club Local Number 138

Mama Say Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

It Goes One Two Three When I'm Kicking Funky Lyrics
I'm Busting Up Vocabulary I Want You All To Hear It
I'm Busting Up The Rhythm And I'm Busting Up The Rhyme
Kicking Down The Stop Posts Cause I Wanna Kicks The Time
I'm Digging Down Some Knowledge Cause You Know I Never Hide It
I'm Pulling Down Your Panties Cause I Want To Get Inside 'Em
Like A Boa A Boa A Boa Constrictor
Gonna Drop Off Your Drawers Shoot Straight For Your Sphincter
I Could Roll My Rhymes But I Would Be Faking
Jimmy Jimmy Pop Is Not Jamaican
J I Double M Y Pop Go
I Run The Show Like Don Pardo
With A Bugaloo Bee On The Beboo Tip
My Hit Will Make You Trip Cause I'm Quadradipped
I'll Do The Popeye Pluto I'll Freak The Funkfazooto
Not Latino What I Mean Though Fuzzy Dice Like Menudo
Rubber Baby Buggy's Bumpers
Punky's Brewsters Now I Hump Her
With My Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Shrunken Small White Peenie
So Rinse Spit Swallow Brain Blank Kinda Hollow
Not To Deep Leap Wow Oh Kinda Shallow
Cause We're In Your Face Like Ed Gein
Purple Rain Purple Rain
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Naughty By Nature And White By Choice
And The Sound Of My Voice Makes Your Panties Moist
Cause I'm Finger Lickin¹ Happy Like A Gay Proctologist
So Like A Dyke With Hollow Tits I'll Rip The Mike With Hollow Tips
Yeah He's In Control Like Sherman Potter
And I Got More Balls Then The Harlem Globetrotters
Jimmy Pop Jimmy Pop Rah Rah Rah
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
So Now I'm Floating Out The Pipes Like A Village People Sump Pump
Always Take A Swallow Cause You Know I Never Get Enough
So Batter Up Bruce Banner If You Think You're Going Measure Up
Can't Be The Top Dog Gotta Be The Scooby Pup
Step To The Bass Drum Always Gotta Have Fun
If You Add Two Halves You'll Always Get The Total Sum
My Steps Are Correct And My Mike Is Always Checked
And When A Punk Is In Effect You Know He's Gonna Get Wrecked
I Don't Want To Start No Blasphemous Rumors
But I Think That Sinbad's Got A Lousy Sense Of Humor
Little Children Unattended Better Get My Poison Candy
Don't Care About Y'all As Long As We Feel Dandy
And I Get The Poon From Judy Blume
Mr Hoopers Dead So Won't You Give Me His Broom
So Come On Chickey Baby Let's Go Make Some Noise
What? No I'm Not The Guy From The Beastie Boys
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa
Mama Say Mama Sa Mama Cu Sa

Kids In America Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Looking Out A Dirty Old Window
Down Below The Cars In The City Go Rushing By
I Sit Here Alone And I Wonder Why
Friday Night And Everyone's Moving
I Can Feel The Heat But It's Seuthing Heading Down
I Search For The Meaning In This Dirty Town (Downtown)
The Young Ones Are Going (Downtown)
The Young Ones Are Growing
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
Everybody Live With The Music Go Round (Round Round Round
Round)
Bright Lights The Music Gets Faster
Look Girl Don't Checkin' Your Watch Not Another Glance
I'm Not Leaving Now Honey No Not A Chance
Hot Shots Give Me No Problems
Much Little Baby You'll Be Saying Never Mind
You Know Life Is Creul Life Is Never Kind
We'll Make A New Story
We'll Wrap It In Glory
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
Everybody Live With The Music Go Round
La La La La La | La La La La La (Sing)
La La La La La | La La La La La La La La
Come Closerer Honey That's Better
Got To Get A Brand New Expiriance Feeling Right
Oh Don't Try To Stop Me Be Hold Me Tight
Outside The New Day Is Dawning
Outside Suburbia's Sprawling Everywhere
I Don't Want To Go Baby
New York To East Philidelphia
There's A Newark Coming Up On Ya
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
We're The Kids In America (Whoa Oh)
Everybody Live With The Music Go Around
La La La La La | La La La La La (Sing)
La La La La La | La La La La La La La La La La La
We're The Kids We're The Kids We're The Kids In America

You're pretty when I'm drunk Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

One Night Me And The Crew Hit The Road On A Mission
To Slurp Free Brew And Go Fuzzy Flounder Fishin'
Kayjees On The Hi-Fi And The Keg Was Bottomless
Until We Brought Skip O' Pot2mus
And Daddy's Gonna Get Some Probably Underage And Dumb
And Everybody Knows That The Daddy Eats His Young
Lupus In The Lavatory Making A Big Stink
Macing Up The Toilet Seat And Pooping In The Sink
M.S.G.¹S Tanked Up And Wizzin' In A Cup
Waiting For A Sprinkle Genie To Come And Drink It Up
Cause I'm The One Bottle Willy With The 12 Horse Ale
After That I Get Silly Like Soupy Sales
Now It's Midnight And I'm Completely Boofy Blitzed
A Six Of Shlitz And The Jew Brew Manischewitz
With My Beer-Tinted Glasses I'm Ready To Bitty Battle
I'm Hungry Like The Wolf But I'll End Up Tending Cattle
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
[X4]
(And I'm Pretty Fuckin' Drunk)
Here She Comes, A Funky Fried Cutie
Mr. Jimmy Pop Ali Is Gonna Get Some Booty
Cause I'm Mr. Mcfeelie With A Speedy Delivery
You'd Think I Was A Ditch The Way This Chick Was Diggin' Me
But Maybe I Should Check And See If This Is Where I Wanna Be
Hey Lupus Is She Cute? Yea For A Pygmie
Aw! What Do You Know? You're Probably Going Home Alone
And It Wouldn't Be The First Time That I Gave A Dog A Bone
Plus Beauty, It's Only Skin Deep
It's In The Eye Of The Beholder And My Beholder's About To Tweak
I Could Tap That Barrel, In Fact I Know I Can
It's A Ménagé A Trois You And Me And Heineken

Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk) [X4]

Regrets I've Had A Few
First And Foremost I'd Like To Mention You
For The Sake Of Conversation We'll Call You The Brand New Heavy
Your A Mix Between An Ugnaut And Eugene Levy
You Can Call It Big-Boned, I Prefer To Call It Gut
Your Buddha Your Shamu Your Jabba The Fuckin' Hutt
You Had Harpoon Scars And Your Boobies Were Hairy
I Smelt Tuna Melt But I Wasn¹T Gonna Worry
It Was 3 A.M. And I Wasn't Gettin' Squat
So I Rolled You Up In Flour And Aimed It For The Wet Spot
I Was Buttering Rolls Like A Soup Kitchen Christian
Then It Hit Me Something Bit Me While My Little Rod Was Fishin'
I Was Deep Sea Fishing I Took A Fat Chance
But How Was I Supposed To Know That Jabberjaws
Lived In Your Pants
At That Junction I Came To Realize
That Only Frank Purdue Likes Thighs That Size
Fatty Fatty Boom Ba Latty I Gotta Lament
That You Were Not A Girl You Were An Experiment
Cause You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
(You're Pretty When I'm Drunk)
You're Pretty When I'm Drunk
And I'm pretty fucking drunk

The Evils Of Placenta Hustling Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Excuse me, have you seen my wife's placenta?

Shitty Record Offer Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Take good, take bad, take gold
And may you have facts of life
The facts of life

Now the world don't move
To the beat of just one drum
What might not for you
Might not for some

Different Strokes, Different Strokes
Different Strokes to the world
Charles in charge of our days and our nights

Go Down Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Step Back Cause The Bass Is Fuzzin'
Bloodhound Gang Bangs More Than The Dirty Dozen
Alley Oop Here Comes The Slam You Know Where I Stand
I'm Feelin' Like Anthrax Cause You Know I'm The Man
Yea I Dug Your Dame But All I Did Was Kiss Her
But I Got To Second Base With Your Mom And Your Sister
I'll Wipe The Grin Off Your Face Like I Was A Can Of Windex
I Threw A Right I Threw A Right Was It Live Or Memorex
Go Down Down Deep Deep In And Out Quick
Cause I'm Harder Than Chinese Arithmetic
My Fist Is In Your Face Cause You Stood In My Way
You Tried To Talk Your Shit And Your Ass Got Paid
I Get Stupid Like The Mongoloid Corky
Welcome To McDonald's May I Take Your Order
Cause I'm Cold Kicken' Lyrics Like My Arm Was On Fire
Like Pinnochio My Nose Don't Grow Cause I Ain't No Liar
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Get It Up
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Y'all
Clap It On Clap It Off Sniff My Exhaust
Cause I Got More Steps Than Barishnikov
Like A Pirouette, A Pirouette, A Pair Of Wet Jeans
You Don't Understand But Your Girl Knows What I Mean
So I Kicks My Rhymes Kind Of Complex
A Text Of Intricate Words And Other Spoken Effects
Like A Preacher On The Mount Teaching Things He Doesn't Follow
When You Tried To Hit The Brake But Pushed On The Throttle
Mr. Goody Two Shoes Picture The Scenario
Your Girl Blew Me As I Blew Your Stereo
And I Gots More Bass Than A Baseball Diamond
Don't Put Me On Your Chalkboard Cause I'm Not Down With Simon
Sonic Boom In Your Room Assume Your Not There
Booty Licken' Nugget Picken' With Your Dad Downstairs
Love Is Just A Fallacy I Gots More Force Than Gravity
I Can Run All Night Like An Energizer Battery
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Get It Up
Go Down Go Down To Get It Up Y'all

Earlameyer The Butt Pirate Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Ahoy, sissy! Whatcha got in your mouth sissy?

We Like Meat Lyrics – Bloodhound Gang

Hey, look at all that meat, ain't she the bitter end?

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